What Up, Mom?

Tales of healing and heartache from an unlikely pair ....

I’m so glad that you’re here!

My late son/godson, Omair - “O” as we called him - and I often talked about writing a book together, but we never got the chance. We planned to call it What Up, Mom? because that’s how he always greeted me - by phone, text, email or in person.

I’m currently working on a memoir that tells our story in more detail, but I also want to share some shorter reflections on this platform. And I’m purposely launching this Substack today —Halloween 2025 —on what would have been O’s 51st birthday.

Despite an early life marked by loss, poverty, crime and homelessness, O rose with resilience. He graduated from Detroit’s Northern High School, began college at Eastern Michigan University, and ultimately earned his Bachelor of Social Work from Wayne State University in 2013.

O’s life was complicated and turbulent, yet his kindness, resourcefulness, and generosity shone through everything he did. He devoted himself to helping others: working with the homeless for the City of Detroit, supporting youth at Covenant House and Don Bosco Hall, and mentoring young men who saw in him both guidance and hope. Loved by friends, family, clients, and coworkers alike, O left a lasting mark through his service, empathy, and unwavering presence.

Tragically, he also suffered from the disease of alcoholism and died from it earlier this year, at the age of 50.

On these pages I’ll share some of the gifts and lessons learned from our story - the one that we hoped to tell together. Namely, how two trauma survivors —a poor, 12-year old black kid from the streets of Detroit and a privileged, 32-year old white woman from the suburbs of Indianapolis — met by chance at the St Vincent and Sarah Fisher foster care facility, and went on to spend the next 38 years of their lives together on a transformative journey of healing, love, learning and loss.

It’s a story about confronting racism, recovering from both low and high expectations, finding both connection and estrangement, as well as teaching each other how to keep showing up, even when it was just awful.

In 1987, around the same time I met O, I started attending Al Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings to address some of my own childhood trauma. I’ve been a grateful member ever since. In those rooms we don’t give advice, instead we share our experience, strength and hope. That is what I hope to do here: reflect on what I learned with O, and also explore broader issues—since What Up? is, after all, such an open invitation—including topics like:

• addiction and recovery

• social justice, relationships, and grief

• parenting and grandparenting

• trauma and mental health

• aging - I’m a retired geriatric social worker

• retirement, travel, health, knitting, good books - and whatever else comes to mind

My hope is that what you read here inspires you to dig deeper into your own life and uncover the gifts within your unique journey.

Your support means the world to me and I know it would to O, as well

Warmly,

Karen

A Note on Giving Back

All proceeds from paid subscriptions will go to the Chandler Scholar Program at the St. Vincent and Sarah Fisher Center in Detroit, which I founded in Omair’s memory to continue his legacy of service. The program provides targeted support and public recognition to one adult learner each year in the PUMP (Placement Upskilling Mentoring Program) who demonstrates academic promise, determination, and significant need.

Its mission is to remove barriers to higher education, certification, and job readiness, empowering individuals to build better lives — just as Omair did throughout his own.

Learn more about the Center here: